Always
by deatheater-snape
Summary: Its Harry Potter's last night at hogwarts. He's graduating, but before he can leave he's got to tell someone something. ( slash Hp/ss rated R for suicide)


Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. WAHAHAHAAH. *Sniffle* I love the series, but I own nothing. (if I did, I'd be writing more books then you could shake a stick at.) I am sad. (yes. Sad.)  
  
: Please review for me!!! I love input.  
  
  
  
Always  
  
  
  
Harry smiled at Ron and Herimone. It was the last day of school, and Hogwarts wouldn't be in his sights again for it was Harry was in his last year, a seventh year and he was now Graduating.  
  
The meal that would be Harry's last Hogwarts meal was great. He ate as much as he possibly could. Ron and Herimone did likewise, stuffing themselves to the brim. During the past year they both had hit it off and Harry was a little surprised that Ron and Herimone, his best friends, were girlfriend- boyfriend.  
  
He'd always thought that Herimone liked Viktor Krum, but apparently she'd always liked Ron.  
  
Harry smiled at the memory of walking in on them shortly after the Yule ball in their fourth year.  
  
He smiled at them.  
  
It was so cute.  
  
Ron rose from the table and raised a cup of pumpkin juice to toast. "To everyone, Even Malfoy. Let's have this last one night as the best night of our childhood lives. We will be adults and grow up, but we'll still be with everyone, in each others minds and hearts forever."  
  
"Here, Here!"  
  
Glasses clinked. People whispered. People laughed.  
  
The night was perfect.  
  
Harry smiled. It was a perfect night.  
  
And soon the perfect night had wound down and it was off to bed for an early morning train ride. Harry sat on his gryffindor bunk, a bed that was more home then anything else. He smiled, remembering the first time he'd seen it. His bags were packed, his trunk and clothing locked away.  
  
Harry decided to take a walk around the grounds. Why not? It WAS his last night after all! What could it hurt?  
  
Harry wrote a note and left it on his bed for Ron or Herimone to find and set off down the dark halls clutching his pocket, not wanting to lose what was in it. No footsteps. No sound. No Filch. Eerie.  
  
He wandered, aimlessly trying to memorize each and every hall, not wanting to lose his perfect memories.  
  
And soon he found himself wandering down the dungeon halls and standing in his potions classroom. He stepped in, watching light flicker from the candles set up around the stone cold walls, brief warmth.  
  
"One last night time stroll Mr. Potter?"  
  
Harry whirled and found himself facing Severus Snape.  
  
"Yeah. Guess you could call it that." Harry watched Snape, who seemed to be glaring at him even more dangerously then ever before. "Good riddance! Finally, I get to get rid of you and your annoying trio for good.." Snape scowled walking into the room and stopping by his desk.  
  
"And to think," He picked up a book and tucked it under his arm facing the blackboard, "only took me seven years to get rid of you for good. Now you'd better leave, or I'll be happily forced to take off points from Gryffindor."  
  
The blackboard stared cheekily at Harry, devoid of chalky pale scrawled notes that usually covered its surface.  
  
"Professor? I've been meaning to ask you something." Harry asked.  
  
Snape snorted. " oh, and what might your question be? Why do I hate your father? No, I've already answered that one. What about why I hate Black? No, I've already answered that one too. Perhaps you'd like to know why I hate Lupin. Though, I've probably already told everyone the reason already."  
  
"Do you love me?"  
  
Snape turned around, a strange expression painted on his face. "What did you just say?" His lips, for once not sneering. "Do you love me?" Harry repeated.  
  
"I don't know your talking about Potter." Snape said coldly.  
  
But Harry ignored him. " because, I love you. the day we first met, I knew I loved you. Have you ever felt like that before? I don't suppose you do. You were always so cruel. So cold and terrible. But I loved you for it. You made my insides tie themselves in knots. I suppose it's horrible, having someone talking about you like that." Harry stopped talking, gazing at Snape through emerald green eyes.  
  
"What is wrong with you Potter?! Have you lost what's left of your feeble brain! Stop talking-" Harry cut him off. " really, I think it was when you saved me that day in my first year of school. That was when I realized that you might like me back. But, maybe I was wrong. I man, it's wrong to think about things like that. Like this. It's not really straight, is it."  
  
Harry trailed his fingers across a desk, bathed in borrowed candlelight. He looked at Snape, eyes sparkling.  
  
Snape stared back, beetle black eyes empty, devoid of emotion. "Shut up. These things are never ment to be. You're just like your father. So arrogant and big headed- you don't even know what it is that you're blabbering about. Your just some hormonal teenager who-"  
  
"I guess I just wanted to ask you," Harry moved forwards slowly, trailing his fingers from desk to desk as he moved, "What you felt back." He reached Snape and gently reached out, touching his startled Potion's Professor's face. Snape jerked back, eyes wide. "GET OUT OF HERE."  
  
Harry smiled. " do you love me. Am I what you desire?"  
  
Snape raised a shaking hand and brushed aside Harry. " I don't think so. Whatever, BLINDED foolish thing that led you to think this , if -"  
  
Harry moved forward, arms encircling Snape's waist.  
  
A slight gasp patted across Snape's lips as he found his body touching warmth of the boy's body. "Mr. Potter-" "Call me Harry. I like being called Harry." Harry leaned his body closer to Snape's warmth, smoothing his hair as he gently laid his head on Snape's chest.  
  
"stop this." Harry smiled. " It's my last day Severus. I should at least like to hold you." "PO-" "Severus. You are my world. I live for you. why can't you see it and accept it?" Harry murmured into Snape's shoulder.  
  
"Harry let me go. I don't like this. Your.-" Snape trembled.  
  
" I'm what?"  
  
Harry lifted his head from Snape's shoulder and stared lovingly into black ebony eyes.  
  
"your scaring me." Tears welled up in Harry's eyes.  
  
" I. I scare you?" He whispered in disbelief, begging his ears to have been liars.  
  
"You are scaring me now. Please Harry," Snape closed his eyes, willing the moment to end, for the world to stop spinning and whirling like a drunken sailor.  
  
Miraculously it did.  
  
Snape opened his eyes and stared into Harry Potter's emerald green watering eyes.  
  
"Harry.-don't cry. Don't." Snape's voice wavered. He reached out and flinched.  
  
"I make you scared.scared."  
  
"Harry. No ones ever done anything like this to me before." Snape closed his eyes.  
  
" I scare you."  
  
"Harry. Look. Just forget me. I'm not worth it." Snape reached out finally and ran his slender pale fingers through Harry's hair.  
  
"Scared.-I-" Harry shook his head from side to side, till his entire body was thrashing. Snape moved forward and restrained the boy. "STOP IT! Harry, stop!"  
  
Harry thrashed, as though experiencing the worst pain in his life.  
  
Snape's grip tightened, his arms encircled Harry's smaller form.  
  
"Harry. Stop. Calm down. You don't scare me. Just calm down. I'm sorry." Snape whispered softly into Harry's ear.  
  
Harry froze, body leaning against Snape.  
  
"So you won't be with me?" His voice pierced the dungeons cold air.  
  
" I can't. It's illegal. Even if I did, even if I do, it would never be possible."  
  
Harry smiled.  
  
" I know how we can be together Severus. Forever."  
  
Snape blinked, and felt tears staining his pale skin. " there is no way."  
  
Harry pulled free and smiled, tears streaming down his cheeks like twin silver rivers.  
  
"yes. There is a way."  
  
He reached into his pocket and withdrew what he had treasured, his favorite possession.  
  
Harry pointed the silver gun at Snape's chest.  
  
"I love you Severus Snape." Harry smiled.  
  
"Harry. This isn't the only way. We can just walk away from this. I won't tell anyone. You can go, make a life for yourself. I'll take this to my grave." Snape closed his eyes, tears falling in tiny droplets onto his robes.  
  
"Look. I've made you cry. And I scare you." Harry babbled, eyes glowing with a strange light.  
  
"Harry. You don't scare me." Snape stood stiffly.  
  
" I will love you forever Severus. You are my love. And I will always, ALWAYS be with you. we will meet again soon." Harry's hand shook. He aimed.  
  
BANG!  
  
Snape clutched his chest, feeling the molten lava bullet penetrate his flesh. Severing, steaming, tearing. Biting.  
  
He felt his body seize and for a moment, he thought that Harry had missed his mark.  
  
And a moment later, life blood gushing from his heart, Severus Snape fell to the ground. Harry watched his lover twitch and die at last, laying bleeding on the cool stone floor.  
  
He smiled, feeling the after spray mingle with his tears, turning a light pinky red.  
  
Gingerly, he knelt beside his love. " Severus. I love you." He brushed away blood from he corner of Severus' lips and kissed him, feeling the man's last breath slip into his mouth and mingle with his own. He closed Snape's lifeless eyes.  
  
Harry smoothed Severus' hair, arranging his body lovingly. Gently, he layed himself down, wrapping Snape's arms around his body.  
  
"Good bye love."  
  
He put the cold steel in his mouth. And pulled the trigger.  
  
A sharp bang sent twitches through the embraced lovers. Harry's gun fell to the ground. **  
  
Ron bent over Harry's bed, noticing a neatly arranged scroll laying tenderly tucked against the covers.  
  
It was morning.  
  
They were to leave Hogwarts and breakfast had still a few hours to come.  
  
Curious, Ron opened the scroll and recognized Harry's neat handwriting.  
  
He read it once. He began to shake uncontrollably. ***  
  
Dumbledore shook his head grimly.  
  
"and-he-wwrote.ddeadd. Harry's dead and he's dead. Dead." Ron rocked back and forth in his chair, eyes red from tears, note clutched in his hand.  
  
The had discovered the bodies of Harry Potter and Snape eternally embraced in the dungeon classroom where potions would always be taught.  
  
Harry Potter in Severus Snape's arms, both stiff as boards, blood and brains everywhere.  
  
Now Dumbledore turned to Ron.  
  
"He left you a will, I presume?" the twinkle in his eyes was gone.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"And? I also presume he's left everything to you?" "Yes. Everything to my family and me. He left a letter to Sirius for me to deliver and he's left us a letter about why he did it." Ron hung his head.  
  
" I can't believe I didn't know! He was my friend. I should have stopped him!"  
  
"do not blame yourself Ron. Harry ment to keep it from everyone. I can't possibly believe how hard it must have been for him, to keep it all inside. I would like to hear what he wrote, if that isn't too hard." Dumbledore said softly.  
  
Ron wiped his eyes and lifted up the scroll to read.  
  
" Dear Ron, I, Harry Potter have decided that this will be my last will and testament. All objects and money, anything and everything that I owned will now belong to you. I have been doing a lot of thinking and I have decided that I will not live any further. For the past seven years I have been deeply in love with Severus Snape, and even though I have never been given a cents worth of affection in return. I will love him. I do love him. I think that if I were to go without telling him, that I might go insane.  
  
I have prepared myself for the fact that he may reject me. May not want me. I have converted a small amount of my money and have purchased a gun which I will use to end it if things go too far. I do hope that Severus will accept me, but incase, I will take it with me. If I am dead by the time you read this, know that I love you and Herimone. I love Hedwig, take care of her for me, I love all of your family and I especially love Sirius and Dumbledore.  
  
Know that I am finally happy and I hope to see you again, when you die of old age. When your in your three hundreds. You were a great friend Ron. I think you for all your years of caring for me. I thank your mother and father for caring so much about me. I want you to know that there was nothing you could do to stop me.  
  
Tell Draco Malfoy that he's ok. Tell Voldemort if you even see him, (which I hope you never do, because I hope he burns in hell.) that he never got me, I got myself. I love you all. I love you all so much that it hurts me to have to leave you, but I must. I love you all. I will always love you all.  
  
This is my last will and testament. Love, Harry Potter Your best friend in the entire world. Ps. You and Herimone were the things that kept me together."  
  
Dumbledore sighed.  
  
"Headmaster? Does this mean-does it mean that Harry murdered Snape?" Ron asked.  
  
" No. Heavens no. My dear boy, " He turned and smiled sadly at Fawkes, " Severus was very much in love with Harry, but there was no way for them to be together. And now, I hope and believe, that somewhere out there, all they're problems are gone and that they are both really and truly happy."  
  
  
  
Author's note:  
  
Did you like it???? I you do, (it made me want to cry proof reading it.) review for me. Thanks a million for your time. 


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